Chapter 4: I’ll keep my cool, but I’m feenin’

Damon constructed a casual pose against the mini-mountain of pillows that supported his back. Inside, he was a mass of barely contained energy. If his heart still had a beat, it would be out of control and pounding like a raging beast. Despite the dalliances in the woods and in her grandmother’s backyard, he never in a century imagined Bonnie Bennett would make a seductive entrance into his bedroom.

Not Miss Judgey with the glittering emerald eyes. Oh, wait. Tonight, there was a hint of copper to them. She is a chameleon, he thought. A strange, delectable delight just begging for it by night and running like a scared kitten by day. What gives?

She sashayed to the edge of his bed, just a flick of his wrist away, and he couldn’t resist one last taunt.

“Are you lost, Bennett?”

“Not at all.”

He cocked his head to the side, taking in the show and enjoying it. Her caramel skin looked satiny smooth against the clingy ivory frock. This one wasn’t as billowy as the other contraption from the night before. Thin, spaghetti straps had the envious task of holding the lace in place over her ripe firm globes. Even without laying a hand on her, Damon noticed the tightening of her nipples. His mouth watered in anticipation on the feast that lay just out of reach. As if that wasn’t enough, a large satin bow rested just below the center of her cleavage. I’ll deal with that later, he thought, as his gaze strolled downward.

The thin, little nightie stopped just a mere inch or two below her pert little ass. A triangle of ivory at the apex of her thighs hid her treasures from him, but not the delicious, intoxicating aroma that wafted from there. Oh, yeah, she wanted him. Although he hadn’t made one move, he could taste her desire. It consumed him.

He swallowed down the urge to leap from the bed and roll her underneath him. Playing this cool, unaffected was the only way to go. But inside, he was already halfway over the edge.

Hard and heavy, his erection begged for a different scenario than the one his head was determined to see play out. To give himself a smidgen of relief, Damon slipped his hand under the sheet and palmed his impressive tool from base to tip. Already, pre-cum made the head slippery and slick. He suppressed a shudder as he watched her eyes glow with fascination.

“What do you want?” he asked, just barely croaking the words out.

“I want you.”

And to his surprise and faster than he could respond, she ripped the sheet back and straddled him. For just a moment, he stared up at her. Skin glowing and vibrating with heat. Long, dark tresses cascading down over them like a waterfall. Chest heaving like a locomotive. Damon licked his lips. So this was one way of being trapped by a witch. Funny, he definitely preferred it to the tombs.

Then the jokes stopped and realization set in. Here was Bonnie Bennett, hovering over him and obviously horny as hell. And here lay Damon Salvatore with a dick harder than lead and an ache for her that he had never known possible. Thinking really had no place at a moment like this.

Her cat-like eyes widened and Damon had only a millisecond to wonder if she could read his mind before she descended. Their mouths connected in a deep, demanding kiss that revealed the passionate minx of Bonnie Bennett to Damon far more than the revealing attire ever could. Her tongue sought and captured his, drawing him inside. Not one to play submissive, he rolled them until she lay beneath him. His hard dick found heaven nestled between her soaked, panty-covered center.

He marveled at how her hands moved over him. They were everywhere, tugging his hair, pulling at his neck and clawing his back. Enough already, he thought. He tore the gown from her in pieces. The bow rippled over them like confetti. The panties followed. He had to know if she was as wet as her scent promised. As his rained kisses along her jawline toward that pulsating invitation at her neck, he brought his hand over her mound, just testing and relishing the feel of the wispy curls against his palm. Then with restraint that he had never before possessed, he gently, lightly caressed the moist downy silk. The resulting moan that vibrated from her throat had him diving deeper and pushing one finger between her snug, liquid folds.

“Damn, you’re tight,” he groaned, licking the pulse at her neck. The scent of her blood flooded his senses and combined with the heady aroma of her arousal. As his thumb drew circles around her slippery button, he slid a second finger inside and created a steady rhythm. Her hips rocked in response to the same cadence as her ragged breaths.

“Damon,” she moaned his name like an incantation.

He raised himself on one elbow to look down at her, to savor this. His fingers pumping inside her. She on the verge of cumming.

She wrapped her hand around his wrist. He half-expected her to make him stop. Instead, she increased the motion. Her gaze locked on his. Her mouth slack and her tongue peeked from the corner. Yeah, he had her, and his little Miss Judgey came hard.

The grunts were so unladylike. The tremors of her thighs jiggled his dick and he mentally told himself not yet. But not much longer either. With his fingers still owning her and making her quiver, he dove for her breasts. Dark, chocolate tips didn’t melt in his mouth. No, they hardened against his tongue and sucking lips. This was better than the fantasies that had kept him awake. This was hotter than he ever imagined.

Then his dick demanded relief. He pulled his hand from her crotch and slowly licked each finger. She was delicious. Next time, he promised himself. Because there would be a next time and a time after that.

His self-control reached its limit and her writhing body and wandering hands didn’t help. He grabbed his dick and rubbed the tip over her adorable little button until she screeched. With a low, throaty chuckle, he pushed inside.

Her liquid heat gripped him. Her tightness thrilled him. One hand held hers against the pillows while the other cupped her face. He wanted her eyes on him. He needed to see this moment and know that she didn’t come here for an easy fuck. He wasn’t just a dick or a vampire hustle. He was Damon Salvatore and she, Bonnie Bennett, was spread eagle on his bed beneath him because she wanted him.

Those beautiful eyes, which were now a glowing copper and shiny as a brand-new penny, stared back at him. They screamed words that Bonnie had yet to say despite the incoherent passionate, guttural utterances. His thrusts deepened. An unexpected barrier halted him for just a moment. Then he broke through. In a flash, her eyes turned back to their usual vibrant, emerald green. Horror and surprise reflected in those dazzling orbs for the briefest of moments. Just as quickly, the copper returned and so did the passion and the desire.

Her arm snaked around him and her hand gripped his hip, guiding him deeper and harder inside her.

“Oh, witchy…”

Damon couldn’t believe the strength in that one hand or the power of her thighs as they locked around his. He collapsed on top of her. Flat, soft planes of her belly pressed hard against the rigid lines of his abdomen. He felt the blood vessels form every tiny line as they spread from his eyes. The fangs popped from his gums and sunk into her tender flesh. Tangy, sweet deliciousness exploded in his mouth as she arched against him, her silken heat squeezing his cock mercilessly until he erupted inside her.


Jeremy stepped over the fifth creaky step on the staircase to trudge to his room undetected. He’d passed Alaric dead to the world on the living room sofa, a crossbow within arm’s reach. No doubt Elena was asleep in her room next to his. With Stefan gone, her car stayed on the curb at night a lot more than usual. The silence of the house was welcoming, Jeremy decided. After the strange goodbye with Bonnie, he didn’t want prying eyes glaring at him. He needed to think.

The drive began with innocent intentions, but when she appeared in the moonlight wearing that silky top and short skirt…well, he kind of lost track of his initial goal. Of course, he wanted to have sex with her, but sex didn’t seem enough. He’d had sex before. When he thought back to being deflowered by Vicky Donovan, he wanted more than that for Bonnie’s first time.

Her first time. He paused in the middle of his room and remembered the stricken look on her face when she admitted to being a virgin. To be honest he hadn’t thought about her sexual experience. She was so beautiful and fantastic that he found it hard to believe that half the male student body wasn’t making plays for her. Hell, he couldn’t believe it had taken him as long as it had to fall, but once he had, he went down hard.

He undressed and crawled into bed. Bonnie’s scent still lingered in his mouth and on his fingers. In awhile he’d wash it away, but for now, his thoughts returned to their interlude in her grandma’s house. They’d made out, nothing more than kissing and stuff, before, but tonight was different. Tonight was heaven. Tasting her. Making her squirm. Making her cum. The erection that hadn’t fully subsided came back to life.

Jeremy settled in the sheets with plans of making Bonnie’s first time special at the forefront of his mind while his hand closed around his cock and went to work. As soon as he got a good rhythm going, the whispers started.

I’d never leave you hanging like that. That was Vicky. Anna soon followed.

If she loved you, she’d take care of you.

Jeremy’s eyes shot opened. The two ghosts stood on both sides of his bed. Vicky stood with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips. Anna’s brow knitted into a disapproving frown as she folded her arms across her chest. His arousal deflated in his grasp. Anger and frustration rippled through him at an alarming rate.

“Get out,” he said through clenched teeth.

She doesn’t love you. Anna reached for him.

He scrambled from her. “You shouldn’t be here.”

That Bennett witch is bad news, Jer. Vicky sat on the edge of his bed.

“You don’t even know her,” he said. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. You’re dead. Go away—”

We care about you. Anna’s eyes glittered with sudden tears. I don’t want to see you get hurt.

“If that’s true, you’ll leave,” Jeremy said. “If you really care about me, you’ll go.”

Okay, if that’s how you want it. Vicky stood.

But trust us, she will hurt you.

“Goodbye, Anna,” he said, his heart racing. “Goodbye, Vicky.”

The two forms vanished. He dropped onto the bed and pulled his pillow to his chest. The first time he saw them, it was just…weird. Now, it was really starting to freak him out. Every visit, they bitched about Bonnie. He hated that shit. Of the three women in his life, Bonnie was the only one who hadn’t used him. She didn’t screw him for drugs or play him to divulge family secrets. He’d known her his entire life. He’d loved her before he understood what it meant. Life after death gave him crystal clarity. He trusted Bonnie with his life and his heart.


Mystic Falls, 1864

It was supposed to be me. Just me. And Katherine, together forever.

The night was dark and cold, but it couldn’t compare to the coldness that crept into his soul. Damon stared into the sparse woods. Before the war, this area had been plush with trees and vegetation. Now it was just a shell of what it used to be. When he saw his brother and knew that Katherine’s plans for eternity differed from his, something inside him broke.

Clouds covered the moon and hid the stars. What little light that cut through the night hurt his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and then realized that he couldn’t close off the noise. An owl hooted several yards away. A four-legged creature preyed on some unidentifiable smaller animal. Then he heard a twig snap. The sweet scent of honeysuckles slid down his throat. He recognized that smell. Before, he wouldn’t have noticed, but everything had changed. Katherine had seen to that.

“Emily,” he said just as she reached him.

“Yes.” Her voice sounded soft and gentle. “This will help.”

He opened his eyes to find her extending a tin cup toward him. Her coming to him surprised him. Everyone catered to Stefan. Everyone.

“What is it?”

“It’s a tea. Some herbs. They provide ease.”

He hesitated. “For what?”

“For everything. You’re in transition,” she said. “I know it isn’t easy. This will help.”

“Did you…” He swallowed hard, but the words slid out anyway. “Did Stefan have some, too?”

“I didn’t…” She glanced away for a moment to look at the ground. Then she raised her head. Her full, shapely mouth curved into a faint smile. “I made the tea for you.”

Customary words of gratitude failed him. He could not think of a response let alone utter one. Accepting the tin cup, he nodded his head and watched in stunned silence as she left him alone again. Katherine’s deception combined with his current predicament made contemplating Emily’s unexpected generosity too much for him to fathom.

He swallowed the tea in one gulp. It tasted horrible, but the results were miraculous. Everything became muted, softer somehow. His senses no longer attacked him. He felt some semblance of control, but there was a hunger.

No, he decided. Hunger was not an option. He would not do what was necessary to prolong this existence. He would wait it out. He would die a natural death.

During his rumination, he’d bent the handle of the cup until it dug into his palm. He looked at the distorted metal and his thoughts drifted to Emily. What was she doing here? Most of the slaves had run and he didn’t blame them. Hell, he’d abandoned the Confederacy because he no longer believed in it, so he for damn sure could not condemn any person in bondage their desire for freedom. Yet, Emily stayed.


The founders had Katherine so if Emily felt indebted to her, surely that debt was cleared. As far as he and Stefan were concerned, Emily owed them nothing. If she had her wits about her, she would have killed them as they lay helpless before her.

Why was she there?

He reshaped the cup and spun on his heel. While he waited on his inevitable death, he could do one good thing. One final thing that if his father, Giuseppe knew, he’d kill him on the spot. Again.

Damon laughed. Mercy, that actually felt good.

He found her in the old, abandoned shack. She sat on the dirt floor with her back against the wall. A small fire flickered in front of her. Her bonnet rested on her lap. A single, thick braid curved around her neck to rest on her shoulder. Her honey brown skin glowed with warmth that Damon couldn’t be sure came from the flames. He paused in the doorway, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Mr. Damon—”

“Please, don’t,” he said. “Just Damon.”

She nodded. Upon that slight movement, he entered. “Here’s your cup.”

“Thank you.” She took the cup from him. “I only managed to save the one.”

“I thought so.” He sat across from her. This intimacy felt unfamiliar, yet, not wrong. He felt his veins throbbing with urgency that escalated as he watched her. “Where’s Stefan?”

“I don’t know. When I came back, he was gone.”

To be honest, Damon didn’t give a damn where Stefan was. With Katherine gone, none of it mattered. “Why are you here?”

She shrugged.

“Emily, you should leave. You shouldn’t stay here. I know some people who can help you—”

“I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” he cut in. “You must. I’ll give you their names. Just get to them and they will show you the way.”

“Why are you…” Her hands clenched in her lap. “I wish I could.”

Her refusal infuriated him. “Why won’t you?”

“I can’t leave you.”


Mystic Falls, Present Day

“Hurry up in there!”

“Okay,” Bonnie’s response to Caroline’s cheerful demand came with significantly less enthusiasm. The hot shower did little to quell her jumbled nerves or the ache between her thighs. Not to mention the hideous bruise on her neck.

Everything hurt. Her body and her spirit ached with an unidentifiable emotion. She pulled on a robe and removed the shower cap from her head. Mist covered the mirror and that gave her some relief. She wasn’t ready to face her reflection. This confusion scared her. Losing control rarely happened to her. She could only think of a few times and never had she lost control to the point where her memories were affected.

“If you want to hit the lingerie store before Jeremy gets here, we have to leave now!”

Bonnie jumped. Jeremy’s coming. Tears sprang to her eyes. She couldn’t let him see her like this. She had to get it together.

“Bon?” All teasing had left Caroline’s voice. “What’s going on in there?”

“Nothing,” she answered. “I’ll be out in a minute. Um, I was thinking a scarf would look really cute with my outfit today. Do you have one—”

“The lavender one with the sparkles! Hold on.”

Bonnie finished getting ready, but made no move to leave the protection of the bathroom until Caroline gave her the scarf. “Thanks.”

She quickly wrapped it around her neck. Her friend’s stare unnerved her. Where were the constant chatter and the plans for the weekend? She didn’t need Caroline’s scrutiny. She needed everything to be normal.

“What?” Bonnie asked when the quiet stretched longer than her nerves could stand.

“There’s something different…” Caroline pressed a finger to her lips. “I can’t… I’m not sure. What happened with you and Jer?”

Bonnie shrugged. “We talked.” Then memory of sneaking through the back of Gram’s house and making out with him on the floor hit her like a ton of soft, lovely plush bricks. It was a good memory. A fantastic memory. He made her feel special and he didn’t push for more.

“I bet you did more than talk.” Caroline grinned. “It’s okay if you don’t spill. Save the details for after this weekend. You can’t hold anything back then. Does Elena know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Girl, you are so shell-shocked. Who would have thought…little Jeremy Gilbert…”

They spent the next two hours running in and out of lingerie stores. Caroline had a natural instinct for finding sales and Bonnie was happy to let her take control. By the time they returned to the Forbes house, their arms were loaded with tiny bags that held even tinier bits of fabric. She blushed at the thought of wearing them alone. She couldn’t imagine parading in front of Jeremy in a half of this stuff. Apparently, Care was a little wilder than Bonnie had thought.

“You have to be more adventurous,” Caroline was saying as loaded Bonnie’s overnight bag with the new lingerie, toiletries, and other necessities. “You’re way too serious. It’s like twenty-four seven. Loosen up this weekend. Have fun. Be a girl.”

“I’m always a girl,” Bonnie snapped, “and I have fun.”

“I know. I didn’t mean… Look, you’ve been a little uptight lately is all I’m saying,” Caroline said. “We all have been, but you…really, Bon. Maybe we put too much pressure on you with the spell casting and such. It’s not fair.”

“Do you hear me complaining?” She started to zip the bag close, but Caroline snatched it from her.

“No, but you should.” The blonde vamp slipped something inside the bag before zipping it close. “No,” she said when Bonnie reached for it, “it’s a surprise. Trust me.”

Before Bonnie could think of an objection or a protest, the doorbell rang. Caroline took the bag with her as she ran to answer the front door. Bonnie gathered her purse and sweater and followed at a normal pace. As she rounded the hallway, she considered her friend’s observations. Was all this angst the cause of too much pressure? Maybe the memory loss was because of all the heavy duty spells she’d recently done. Heck, she’d almost killed an ancient vampire and on top of that, she brought her boyfriend back from the dead. It didn’t get more hectic than that.

“Hey, babe!” The boyfriend met her in the foyer, wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her cheek. “Ready?”


“Yes, she’s ready.” Caroline pushed them out the door. “Have a great time and you know what I mean!”

Jeremy had her bag slung over his shoulder and held her hand as they walked to his SUV. She caught his glances from the corner of her eye. He hadn’t missed her hesitation. When they reached the car, he dropped the bag on the backseat and took both her hands in his.

“Doubts again?”

“I don’t know,” she answered as honestly as she could.

“Nothing happens unless you want it to.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It will be good for us to get away. Just you and me, you know?”

She nodded, almost convinced.

“Really?” he asked, tilting his head down to make eye contact.

“Yeah, really. Let’s do this.”