Journal Entry

November 2008

Ten years ago, I dreamed about the life I have now. I sit here looking down at the surf below and smiling as a cool breeze blows my hair away from my face. Greece has never been more beautiful than it is right now. The diamond ring and the wedding band Nikolas placed on my finger six months ago blinds me as it catches the sun's rays. I am happy.

Yesterday, I went through a box of old things Mom sent to me, and I found my journal from so long ago. It reminded of how far I've come and how much farther I have to go.

Years ago, I promised myself that I would become the woman Nikolas would love. Well, I did, but not through some childish posturing or by losing sight of myself. The opposite happened. Nikolas fell in love with the person I am, and I didn't change a thing about myself. I just grew up.

In a few weeks, we have to go back to the States. Free Spirit is going back into the studio and as their executive producer, I have to make sure that they don't embarrass me with bad tracks. (smile)

I've been awful about writing lately, so before I go down and join my scantily clad, sunbathing husband, I have to bring you, my dear diary, up to date.

Lucas' parole didn't last very long. Again. I spoke to Tommy a few nights ago and he told me that Lucas was arrested again. And, again he refused a psychiatric evaluation. Bobbie and Tony continue to blame each other for Lucas' problems. Personally, I feel that Lucas' problems are a result of neither parent being able to compromise. Nikolas and I have agreed that we will put the needs of our children first. We've seen too many times how badly the opposite can affect the child. Hell, we've both lived it.

Keesha and AJ are fine. Michael and Bradley are still inseparable. AJ tells me that the two little boys are always into something and it's all he and Keesha can do to keep them out of trouble. Of course, I can hear the smile in his voice and I know that he's grinning from ear to ear. I've collected a bunch of sea shells to give to my favorite nephews and I can hardly wait to give it to them.

Dara and Ned are great, too. Brook Lynn isn't the brat she used to be, but at twelve it didn't happen soon enough. With Lois moving them back to Port Charles two years ago, Brook and Jolie were finally able to forge a sisterly bond. They're not the best of friends, but it's only a matter of time before Jolie breaks down Brook's resistance. Also, Lois and Jax are happy, too. I can't believe they're dating. Wow!

The twins are driving Mrs. Landsbury crazy. Nikolas spoke to her briefly when he called home last night. She told him that Cassandra and Erik are always underfoot. He told her that he was the same at their age, but she reminded him that there was only one of him. (smile) Stefan and Carrie dote on them and it's obvious that the twins know they're loved. I try not to spoil them, too, but it's so hard to resist.

Tommy and Dawn are thisclose to setting a date. Nikolas is still perturbed with them for not having a double wedding with us, but they don't seem to mind. When they stopped by last month, they were so lovey dovey it was sickening. Nikolas told them that he got five cavities just by being in the same room with them. (Ha ha!) I think Dawn will give him a date soon. She and I talked during our mega-shopping spree and she told me that as soon as it looks like she can get some time off from John Hopkins, she'll give him a date. I hope she tells him something soon because he's about to drive me crazy, trying to pump me for info. But, I'm happy for them. They'll be just as happy as Nikolas and I are. I just know it.

Emily placed her marker between the pages and closed the book. She grabbed a pair of sunglasses from their bedside table and on bare feet, she skipped from the bedroom and outside to join her husband where he waited for her.

As she fell into his arms, one thought crossed her mind. The heartache, love and pain they'd shared had given them what they needed to love each other completely.

It wasn't over. It had just begun.


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