The door slammed behind her. Eliana stopped, still breathing heavily and leaned her back against it. A part of her couldn't believe what she had done or what she had said. The other half felt triumphant that she had done it. She was so angry, at him, at herself, she didn't know which was more important or which meant more.
Her emotions in total turmoil, she couldn't sit still, so instead she found herself pacing the length of her room and back again. Does he think I don't know my own mind? One part of her argued angrily. Another part countered, you know he's just wants what's best for you. You know he cares.
"No I don't! I don't know any such thing!" she cried aloud in disgust. "Ahhhh!" Eliana snatched up a pillow from the settee and hurled it at the bed. It hit with a solid thunk instead of the soft sound of impact she expected. She walked over, puzzled at the sound.
Getting closer, something on the bed caught her eye. Eliana walked over to find a white box tied with gold net ribbon sitting square in the middle of the deep rose-hued sheets. It hadn't been there when she went down to dinner.
There was a note. "Enjoy. Carly."
She lifted the lid and all her previous anger fell away. Her breath caught in her throat as she lifted the white silk nightgown and duster.
The moonlight caught the sparkle of the diamante buttons, and the sheer fabric of the duster glowed in her hands. Oh, Carly…The silk was smooth; she imagined how it would feel against her skin. She imagined again, how Jason's eyes would look as he looked at her. Her eyes went to the wall that separated them. I told him I knew what I wanted and who I wanted. So why am I not following my heart? What am I afraid of? She had no good answer for that. Time to find out then.
Hands shaking slightly, she changed her clothing. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards the terrace.
The ceiling-to-floor drapes billowed inward with the summer-soft night breeze, and Jason could make out the figure brushing past them. His breath caught in his throat as he saw what she was wearing. Or not wearing. Her robe seemed to be woven of moonlight and starsparkle. As she moved towards him, the slits in the sides of the nightgown beneath parted and closed to alternately hide and reveal the long smooth length of her legs and thighs. Her hair was loose and flowing and she was barefoot.
He moved towards her as she crossed the room, and they met somewhere in the middle. Eliana laid her hands upon his chest, feeling the sharply sculptured muscles beneath her hands and slowly raised her eyes up to his.
"Jason, can't you see that I want you?" she whispered.
"I want you too, Eliana." Jason admitted. Unable to resist touching her, his hands came up, caressing the smooth curves of her shoulders. "But you've been through so much. I don't want you rushing to do anything where you feel you have to prove that you can. I don't want to hurt you."
"You'll only hurt me if you turn away from me."
"I could never turn away from you." Jason said. He hesitated, but then plunged ahead. "I want you so much, it scares me."
"It scares me too. But not the way you think." She took a deep breath. "It scares me that you might not want me."
"You think that I don't want you?" his voice trailed off incredulously.
Jason looked down at her, his blue eyes probing her brown ones, seeking answers to questions he didn't know he'd had until now. In spite of himself, he couldn't help but think of the women that had told him they cared for him, or even told him that they loved him. Robin, Carly, Elizabeth. Either he hurt them or they hurt him.
After a long while, he says in a low voice the thought that has haunted him for so long. "It hurts too much to love."
His words rocked her.
"Love doesn't hurt." Eliana whispered even as her own heart ached for him. "You told me earlier, that I didn't have to do this. You were wrong." She slid her hands up around his neck, unable to resist touching him even now, her fingers began to trace small patterns on the back of his neck. "Jason…please… I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Jason asked her. Something indefinable inside of him stirred then fluttered awake. He couldn't tear his gaze from hers.
"I spent so much of this time away from you thinking about this. Yes, I know; a part of me wants nothing more than to wipe away the ugly memories of the man that hurt me. And I know that same part of me that wants to do something …anything… to put that memory behind me. I acknowledge it and I accept it. But beyond that, there's you, Jason. There's no one else that I want, no one else that I have wanted for a very long time. It only took all of this to make me realize it."
The truth of her words were there in her eyes, dark and intent upon his, open and honest, as she bared her feelings to him. Jason brought his hands up to brush Eliana's hair back from her face, fingertips tracing lightly along her jaw line, then her cheekbones, gliding upwards to slide slowly, sensuously through her sable dark hair and back again, trailing a soft path along her throat to her shoulders and back again, each touch drawing her closer to him.
He watched as her eyes fluttered shut under his gentle caresses. Then it was the most natural thing in the world for his mouth to find hers. Her lips were soft and sweet beneath his. Jason tightened his embrace, holding her close as he felt her shiver beneath his searing kiss, delighting in her response as he felt her arms come up to pull him even closer.
Eliana ended the kiss, then let her hands glide over his body, caressing his chest lightly before she began to unbutton his shirt, following the trail she created with her mouth, kissing the expanse of muscle that her fingers were laying bare. He felt her pause just after she parted his shirt. Jason felt her breath catch and he looked down to see her eyes on the bandage on his chest. Her eyes lifted back to his for just a moment. She said nothing, but let her fingers brush across it in a feather light caress, accepting it without question, following it with an even gentler brush of her lips.
Jason closed his eyes as the feel of her lips tracing their way across his chest sent electric currents through him. How could she ever think that he didn't want her? Even this light touch aroused every part of him. He inhaled sharply as he felt her lips brush against his skin.
"Eliana." He groaned out her name. His arms reached out to hold her, his hands needing to touch her. His fingers moved sensuously through her hair, moved down to her neck and shoulders, skimmed down her arms and back again. Her skin felt satiny-soft and he couldn't get enough of touching it, touching her.
At her whispered urgings, they take slow, swaying steps backwards, their bodies pressed against one another, until they are at the couch. Eliana pressed him down until he is seated then straddles him. Then she is kissing him, fingers tracing over his chest and then lower as she finishes unbuttons his shirt. The both of them tug it off when she is done, and then she is back upon him.
Now his hands are traveling slowly over her, fingertips first, then palms skimming her body as he slipped the sheer duster from her, but leaving the other, enjoying the feel of her body through the heavy silk. There is nothing underneath. His hands slide over the soft curves of her body, traveling from shoulder to hip and back again, molding her soft curves against him, pressing her hips against his, letting her feel his arousal. All the while, their lips met and melded in a gentle communion, their kisses slowly deepening, until they were both left breathless by their growing desire.
Eliana smiles down on him, a slow, knowing smile as she felt him harden against her. She drew him to his feet, and then reached for his waistband of his pants, unbuckling his belt and loosing them. Their lips met, parted as he stepped out of them. Her hands slipped down to cup him boldly, caressing him. She stood before him and shrugged her shoulders softly, letting the white silk slide to the floor to puddle at her feet. Jason pulled her back into his embrace and a searing kiss that ended only when Eliana stepped back from him slightly. She smiled a tremulous smile at him, one full of equal parts of hope and promise and desire, before she gently pushed him down onto the couch again. Jason relaxed back onto the settee. Then slowly, he reached out his hand to her.
Jason's eyes never left hers as he watched Eliana reach out to him. He saw and then felt the tremor in her fingers as she slipped them between his own. Their fingers curled into one another's as she slowly came to straddle his thighs with her own. Eliana hovered above him, dark eyes meeting light. He stilled himself, sensing that she needed to show that she chooses this - chooses him -- for herself and herself alone. And as their eyes met and held, Jason saw that she needed to know that he recognized it as well.
Eliana shifted to let her body take him slowly, moaning softly as she felt his smooth slide upwards. He moved his hips at the end, settling himself inside her. His arms outstretched on either side of the settee back, her hands trace from his shoulders to his wrist then palm to palm in one supple caress. She slid her fingers between his. Jason's fingers curled around her own.
Still gazing into his eyes, Eliana started an unhurried, gliding rhythm with her hips, taking him to the hilt one minute, then sliding upwards until only the merest contact joined them. She repeated this over and over, unhurriedly, while a sweet desire built between them. Her mouth descended, lightly playing against his, lazy, soft lipped, open-mouthed kisses, designed to tease, to tantalize. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, then out again, over and over, until he had to have more.
Jason took his hands from hers, tangling them in her hair, drawing her mouth down hard against his, possessing it. Her eyes fluttered shut. Now his tongue was thrusting into her mouth, forcing a moan from her. His hands slid over her satin soft skin, smoothly gliding over her shoulders then moving lower to cup her full breasts.
She drew in a sharp breath as his thumbs swept over her taut flesh, teasing them. Eliana arched into his hands as he brought a swiftly stiffening peak to his mouth, lips and tongue slowly exploring her, moving from one to the other and back again. Her hips quivered in response, tiny explosions of fiery pleasure going off along the length of her body. "Jason…" She said his name on a heated sigh.
He began to set a rhythm of his own, slow, hard, deep, demanding. His arms wrapping around her to hold her to his own pace. He wanted to feel every inch of her and for her to feel every inch of him as he pleasured her, wanting her to have the first of many peaks of ecstasy.
"Ahh...Jason, por favor," she breathed. "please….." Instinctively, she shifts her hips to match his rhythm. Eyes closed, mouth parted, all she knows now, all that exists for her now is Jason…at long last hers, his arms holding her close, his lips on hers, banishing all the ghosts of recent memories, releasing her into the here and now…
For Jason, a kaleidoscope of memories and emotions whirled through him, past and present battered at the walls he's so carefully erected to protect his heart: With Robin, she'd taught him how to feel. Gratitude mixed with affection. With Carly, it was love, but love as a friend only. Affection mixed with animal attraction, flesh to flesh. Elizabeth…she'd denied him, denied them, time after time after time. Poor little girl, looking for someone to save her from herself.
But this, this is no uncertain woman-child in his arms. Eliana had managed to get past his barriers, under his skin, and yes, into his heart. This was a woman who knew what she wanted, what she needed and what she could give him. A woman whispering her bold desires in his ear, words filled with heat and passion and desire. Emotion. He knew now what she felt for him. And felt the same in himself. Their bodies were only a means of communicating that.
"Take me, Jason. I can't, ahh…Dios mio…I can't take it…" she begins to shudder above him, her body quivering with small tremors. It was too soon…His slow, forceful rhythm was making her…his mouth found hers again and she moaned as his tongue met hers.
"You can…." Jason's lips left hers to trail a sensuous path down along the arch of her throat. He whispered against her skin, urging her over the peak. "Let go, Eliana, that's it….yes." He groaned aloud as he felt her trembling reach a new intensity. "Let go…let go for me…. let me feel you…." He held himself deep inside her as he heard her soft cry of surrender, felt her convulse above him and her inner walls tighten and embrace him. It was all he could do not to join her in her ecstasy, but not yet. He wanted to make love to her until all the ugly memories of the recent past were swept away.
Eliana relaxed onto him, her body still quivering with the aftershocks of her experience.
Jason lifted her in his arms and holding her close, crossed to the bed; he laid her down then came to lie besides her. He began kissing her, long mind drugging kisses, his arms holding her close against his body. As they kissed, their limbs entwined themselves, every touch and movement a caress. Then his mouth was trailing down her throat, lips and tongue busy, tasting her satiny smooth flesh, purposely lingering over those areas where she'd been hurt and bruised, and kissing the memories of them away, creating new ones in their place.
He brought his mouth back to hers, the kiss almost reverent as he brushes his lips against hers, over and over again. Eliana's lips parted under his as his tongue sank into her mouth, seeking to possess all of it, all of her. She tasted sweet and heady all at once, intoxicating him like strong wine.
The honey sweet taste of her raced through Jason's veins, and he was drunk with it; he can do nothing except than moan as he worships her with his mouth. His lips trail downwards, over the soft ridge of her collarbones then lower, to her breasts, suckling and nuzzling at her nipples until she is trembling uncontrollably with pleasure. Feeling her quiver and arch helplessly under him, he can no longer hold himself back.
Jason rolled himself onto her silken body, smiling to himself as her arms and limbs come up to enfold him, every touch a caress, to hold him close. He gazed down into her eyes. "Are you ready for me?" he asked softly.
In answer, Eliana's legs came up around his hips, drawing him down. She was hot and wet and aching for him. "Yes, Jason," she murmured. "Yes…te quiero."
I want you.
Hearing the desire, the want, the need in her voice, Jason couldn't hold himself back any longer.
"Then have me." He murmured, unable to hold back any longer; he slid deeply into her with one smooth thrust. Her passionate gasp mingled with his hungry groan as the delicious feeling shivered through them both. Jason held himself still for a time, looking down on her, seeing the emotion blossom in her eyes as Eliana gazed back up at him, her beautiful sable-dark eyes heavy lidded with passion, her soft, full lips swollen from his kisses, realizing that he was memorizing how she looked at this moment. However many times they may be together after this, this is the first night they made love to each other and he wanted this moment to last forever.
The intensity of his gaze held her, drew her in so that nothing else existed for her but the look of want and desire in his eyes. "Make love to me, Jason." Eliana said huskily. Physically, he filled her up so completely her every nerve ending felt alive. Emotionally and mentally, he did the same to every part and piece of her being.
After a long, long moment, he began to move against her, in her, his thrusts deliberately shallow at first, then deepening slowly, taking her slow, watching her face as passion was reborn in it, her lips parting as her breath quickened. He varied his strokes; now pulling all the way out, then plunging deeply into her wet and throbbing center. He groaned aloud with the pleasure of it. Jason lowered his mouth to hers, wanting to possess her totally.
Eliana was lost in the taste of his mouth on hers, the feel of his muscles under her hands as they alternately tensed and relaxed with his body's movements. Jason rose up on his elbows, his lower body continuing to piston into her smoothly. She followed him, reluctant to end the kiss as he shifted his body. Now she let her mouth trail from his mouth, her lips caressing the strong column of his neck, tongue-tip tracing patterns along his throat until, with a heated moan, Jason lowered his head to capture her mouth with his once again.
Now he was thrusting harder, deeper, Eliana meeting his movements with her own. Soon, nothing else existed but the feel of their bodies intertwined, their hands caressing one another, their kisses and touching igniting every inch of their flesh, forcing them into moving with ever increasing urgency against one another.
The last of Jason's defenses crumbled into nothingness as he felt her whisper his name in a breathless moan in his ear, and he let them fall, surrendering to the soul shattering experience of losing himself in her. It made the urge almost unbearable, he felt himself reaching an intensity so overpowering, and he didn't think he could survive it. He trembled with passion as he drove himself deeply inside her.
His own yielding ignites her body, her entire soul and he can feel the utter and complete surrender that she offers him in return. The distant roar of the ocean echoed the racing blood in their veins. As one, they yielded to their passions, and then they were being submerged beneath the ever-growing waves of sensual and emotional pleasure. It drowned their sense of separateness beneath surging waves of pleasure that bound them to one another. Their eyes locked and that was all they needed. Suddenly, together, from the depths of passion, they were soaring, finding the place where their souls joined together and two hearts became one, crashing through crystal-white breakers of pure ecstasy, coming at last to rest, breathless and fulfilled, on the shores of reality once more.
As their bodies stilled their trembling and their breathing slowed to normal, Jason and Eliana looked at one another in wonder.
"I never thought it could be like…" before she could finish, Jason pulled her close.
"Neither did I." he said, just before he captured her mouth in a gentle kiss that robbed her of further thought.
They rested in each other's arms, not speaking, floating in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Eliana must have dozed for a time, without realizing she had slipped off into sleep. She opened her eyes to see Jason gazing down at her, a thoughtful look in his eyes.
"Hey." she smiled up at him.
"Hey." Jason replied. "I was watching you sleep." He lifted a hand to trace the contours of her face, his fingers catching a tendril of her hair and caressing it softly. "You are so beautiful."
"And you were thinking. About what?"
It didn't occur to him to lie. "You know what I am, you know what I do. When we get back to Port Charles, that won't change. But I want to be with you."
"I know, Jason." Eliana snuggled deeper into his arms. "Remember, I know better than most. But I want to be with you too. More than anything."
"I won't spread your business in the streets, but I won't sneak around to be with you either. And I don't want -- I can't have you sneaking around to see me either. So people are going to point their fingers at you. Sometimes it won't be pretty. Or nice." Jason paused. "I don't have the right to ask you to share my life. What I do, what I am, will always be there."
"I know that, too, Jason. But what you do, is not what you are." Eliana raised one hand to caress his face. "I know that you are so much more than that."
"Thank you." Jason said, thanking her for not only what she said, but what her eyes were saying as she gazed up at him. The look in her eyes that said she saw him for who he was, all that he was and could be, and wanted him anyway. "You know that eventually people will know about us. And I won't ask...I don't want you to hide or sneak around to be with me, to be some dirty little secret in my life. Either you be with me, a part of my life, fully and freely, or when we get back to Port Charles, we can walk away from each other."
Even as he said the words, he knew he didn't want that. But he had to make sure she knew what she was getting into. "It means a life with guards. You've been part of the Life, but even so, there will be things I can't tell you about. Where you are just going to have to trust me. Are you sure you can live with that?"
Eliana nodded slowly. "I trust you now. I know what you are asking of me. I know what being with you will take. Secrets. Danger. But you know what? I could walk out of my gallery the day we get back to Port Charles and get hit by a car driven by a complete stranger. The only safety in life is to shut yourself away from everything and every one and I'm not willing to do that. So it doesn't matter what the dangers are. You're worth it."
She paused, but only for a second. "We're worth it."
It was the right answer for them both.