There was a very good crowd at Luke's tonight. The
disc jockey played a variety of contemporary popular
music from the 80's, 90s, and today, and everyone
seemed to be in a mood to party. People who rarely
socialized together and never claimed to have great
affection for one another joined each other in toasts
and danced enthusiastically on the dance floor. Most
of the small tables at Luke's encouraged an intimate
atmosphere by seating only two or four people. Marcus
Taggert and Donna Richards were seated by themselves
at a table. Karen Wexler and Joe Scanlon shared a
table with Grace Sullivan and Chris Ramsey. While
Karen and Joe spent most of the evening on the dance
floor, Grace and Chris were content to stay huddled at
their table.
"I don't know how you roped me into spending a dull
evening with you here tonight Grace," Chris sulked as
he sipped on a beer. " I could show you a much better
time at my apartment."
Frowning, Grace thought that the last place in earth
she'd want to be was in Chris' apartment. There was
not enough liquor in Port Charles that would make
Chris' suggestion appealing to her. She assured him,
"Chris, take it from me, you aren't going to want to
miss the fireworks later tonight."
"Yeah, right." Chris took a big gulp of beer and
said, "I know what you told me about Kevin Collins and
Ellen Burgess but I just don't believe it. Talk about
two prim and uptight people! They couldn't generate
any heat with a fireplace, wood, charcoal, paper, and
box of matches. Nothing's going on between them and
nothing's going to happen tonight. If that's why
we're here we're wasting our time."
Grace continued to urge him, "Just be patient a little
longer. Matt and Ellen aren't even here yet but I can
almost assure you there will be fireworks here this
evening and we might even be able to help set them
off." Grace's anger smoldered as she thought of the
numerous times Matt rebuffed her love for him because
of his infatuation with Ellen Burgess. Well, after
tonight, maybe Matt would be looking at her and Ellen
in a new light. With these thoughts in her mind,
Grace spied the object of her affection and her
perceived rival entering Luke's. A slow, shrewd smile
spread across her face as she first watched Kevin
shake hands with Matt and then hug Ellen and kiss her
on the check. "No," she thought to herself, "boring
would not be the word to describe what was going to
happen tonight."
"Finally!" Lucy exclaimed when she saw Matt and Ellen
arrive. Kevin had been polite all evening and had
responded to every question and comment Lucy had
lobbed his way, but she was becoming upset as he
continued to be emotionally detached from her. Lucy
prided herself on having a sixth, and maybe even a
seventh, sense. Yet there was no emotional connection
tonight with Kevin. Even in the past when he was
furious with her or when he had other things on his
mind, she always still felt this connection with him.
The connection was still strong when she was with
Scott and when Kevin was with Eve. But now, she
couldn't feel it or the feeling was so faint she
couldn't detect it; something was different.
Tonight's gathering was the first opportunity for
Kevin and Matt to meet since Matt returned from New
York. "Welcome back, Matt," Kevin said shaking Matt's
hand.
Meanwhile, Lucy had Ellen in a python-like grip and
whispered into Ellen's ear, "It's about time. I was
beginning to think that you two had bailed on me."
"You don't know how close that is to the truth,"
murmured Ellen, whose brown eyes fixed on Kevin, who
was staring at her also. "Hi Kevin."
With her locs swept into an updo and dressed in an
Asian-style short silk dress that hugged the curves on
her body, a mesmerized Kevin worked to keep his true
feelings hidden. Taking one of her hands into his,
Kevin leaned over and kissed Ellen lightly on the
cheek. "We're glad that you made it. Happy
Valentine's Day, Ellen."
"You too, Kevin."
~~~*~~~
The sign says do not enter
No trespassing allowed
With visions of redemption
I walk against the crowd
The sun is white with envy
Confusion on the ground
Breathing soft and holy
Temptation's only sound
~~~*~~~
The foursome took their seats just as a waitress came
by to take their order for appetizers and drinks.
Everyone agreed it was very nice to take a break from
work and celebrate a bit this weekend. Lucy rattled
on about her new cosmetic company and boutique and how
holidays such as Valentine's Day were a boon to her
business. To stroke Kevin's ego Lucy bragged, "And in
addition to work, Kevin has been busy working with his
publisher on promoting his novel, General Homicide.
In fact, he's been so busy with that book and his work
at GH he's had very little time for me," she pouted.
Noting the book was doing quite well in sales, Matt
mentioned he saw Kevin's book in bookstore windows
when he visiting New York City. "I hope you aren't
too successful or some people might come after you
with lawsuits."
Shaking his head, Kevin disputed Matt's last comment.
"It's a work of fiction Matt. The book isn't based on
real people."
"Right," Matt grinned. "That chief anesthesiologist
murdered in chapter 6 who had a sexual harassment suit
brought against her bears no resemblance to Monica
Quartermaine. The pediatrician strangled in chapter 9
who was married to the ex-hooker nurse and had an
affair with his stepdaughter bears no resemblance to
Tony Jones. The ..."
Kevin waved his hand, interrupting Matt's analysis of
his book. "Point taken, point taken," Kevin laughed.
Cocking an eyebrow, Lucy looked thoughtfully at Ellen
and commented, "Well, now that I think of it, not
everyone in the book makes out so badly. If I didn't
know better, I would say that the by-the-book ER nurse
who aids the psychologist/detective in solving the
murders was partially modeled after Ellen. Even
though Doc hasn't admitted it, he kind of merged you
and me Ellen for that character. The business-like,
no nonsense part is you Ellen. The sensual attractive
part is me." Realizing she was being somewhat
disparaging to Ellen in her last comment, Lucy quickly
added, "Oh and it's you too Ellen, just not as
obvious. And the intelligent part comes from both of
us."
A stunned Ellen saw confirmation in Kevin's face, who
gave a barely detectable nod of his head, that indeed,
the heroine in his novel was based on her, and she
wanted to kick herself for not making this discovery
first.
Clearing his throat, Kevin noted, "Well Lucy, let's
just say if you're right, I won't have to worry about
a lawsuit from you or Ellen."
Matt looked quizzically at Kevin but was addressing
Lucy's comment, slowly observing, "You know, you're
right Lucy. Elaine, in the novel, is quite a bit like
Ellen. Unlike the other characters in the book, I
never connected her to a real-life person, mainly
because of the romance that blossomed between the ER
nurse and the psychologist."
Nodding emphatically, Lucy agreed, "Yes, that's my
part in the character."
Upon reflection, Matt remembered in addition to the
personality similarities, Elaine was described in the
book as wearing her hair in locs and having a
traffic-stopping body. The fact that Kevin based the
character Elaine on his fiancé did not sit well at all
with Matt, but he consciously chose to focus on
Kevin's comment that the book was indeed a work of
fiction.
In an effort to center the conversation on romance
tonight, a beaming Lucy looked at Matt and Ellen and
asked in a conspiratorial whisper, "Tell me, what do
you two lovebirds have planned for this weekend?
Matt, do you have anything special planned for this
Valentine weekend before your wedding?"
Matt gave a sheepish grin. "Well, we aren't taking
any time to go away anywhere now because we'll need
time off for the wedding and honeymoon. But I am
looking forward to spending most of the weekend alone
with my lovely fiancé."
Deception was an unnatural practice for both Kevin and
Ellen. Kevin glanced away when Matt pulled Ellen's
face to his for a kiss, while Ellen was noticeably
nervous when she and Matt kissed at the table. Seeing
Matt's confused look, Ellen's face flushed and she
whispered, "I'm sorry."
Not understanding Ellen's involuntary reaction, Matt
tried to lighten the situation with levity. "Honey, I
think it's O.K. for two people about to be married to
kiss on Valentine Day, even in public," Matt joked.
"Well, I can't think of anything more romantic than
Matt and Ellen's plans for this weekend," Lucy cooed.
Turning to Kevin she asked, "Can you Doc?"
"No, I honestly can say that I can't think of anything
more romantic than that," Kevin replied, straining to
keep his voice devoid of any hint of emotion.
As the evening continued, Lucy was surprised by
Kevin's attitude. Instead of becoming more romantic,
he actually became more distant and despondent. Lucy
was getting desperate and since time was running out
for the evening, more drastic measures were needed.
Maybe jealousy was the ticket to get Kevin to pay a
little attention to his date. Seeing the club's owner
at the bar, Lucy exclaimed, "My, I didn't know that my
pal Luke was back in town! Let me go over and welcome
him home." After kissing Kevin, Lucy sauntered over
to the bar to flirt with her friend Luke Spencer.
Aimlessly watching the couples dance to the music,
Kevin decided to take advantage of Lucy's absence to
spend a few minutes alone with Ellen. "Ellen, since
Lucy has abandoned me for the moment, how about a
dance? Looking at Matt, Kevin quickly added, "You
don't mind Matt, do you?"
"No, go ahead." Matt insisted after Ellen started to
protest. He wanted Ellen to get in at least one dance
tonight. He had assisted Monica Quartermaine in a
particularly long surgery today and while he was
usually enthusiastic about dancing with Ellen his
aching back and muscles told him to take it easy
tonight. Maybe tomorrow night in Ellen's apartment
Ellen and he could share a quiet romantic dance.
Seeing Kevin lead Ellen by the hand to the dance
floor, Grace knew that this was the perfect moment to
make Matt aware of Kevin and Ellen's new definition of
friendship. "This is it Chris, wish me luck," she
said, leaving Chris to join Matt at his table. Grace
knew that her plan to break up Matt and Ellen by
ratting out Ellen could backfire and Matt could be mad
at her for telling him the truth, but it was a chance
she was willing to take.
~~~*~~~
A demon's day in madness kissed
I swear I never had it like this
Forbidden yet I cannot resist
~~~*~~~
"Kevin, how ..."
Conversation would disturb the pleasant relief Kevin
was now feeling and he interrupted Ellen by murmuring,
"Shhh. Can we just dance for a minute?" Kevin simply
wanted to dance slowly with Ellen and savor the feel
of her within his arms. Ellen acquiesced to Kevin's
request and in silence they started to dance. As
their bodies began to sway gracefully to the music
Kevin tried to convince himself this night of torture
and masking his emotions with cryptic facial
expressions was worth it if they could share these few
moments of closeness. Taking care not to hold her too
closely, Kevin still felt himself become aroused. As
the song ended far too soon, Kevin knew that he
couldn't go back to the table with Ellen and resume
the charade.
"I don't know that I can do this Ellen. I thought at
first that I could but ... I'm not sure anymore. I'm
sorry." Feeling as if the walls were closing in on
him, Kevin released Ellen from his arms and quickly
walked away. Ellen stood by herself on the dance
floor and watched Kevin enter what she assumed was
Luke's office and close the door. Ellen knew that she
was standing at a precipice where her next step would
literally determine her fate. Common sense told her
to go back to the table now and leave with Matt. In
future days when she looked back on that night, she
realized that common sense was nowhere in the
vicinity. Her eyes drifted to Matt, who was sitting
and seemed to be in a deep conversation with Grace
Sullivan. Under normal circumstances she would be at
least curious about the topic of discussion, but all
her mind could focus on at that moment was Kevin and
the conflicting emotions he was feeling. She
understood very well what Kevin was feeling because
she shared those very same emotions. All evening she
had deliberately avoided prolonged eye contact with
Kevin in fear that her feelings would become evident
to even the most casual observer. However she
discovered, as Kevin just admitted, it was becoming
too great a burden to bear - continuing to ignore or
hide the feelings they had for one another. What she
and Kevin were doing with their stolen glances and
unleashed passions was making them miserable and
turned them into liars to those closest to them.
After a moment's hesitation, Ellen crossed the dance
floor to Luke Spencer's office.
From his seat Chris watched with a cynical smirk as
Kevin left Ellen on the dance floor, and a moment
later when Ellen followed Kevin to Luke's office.
"I'm not sure what you're using on Ellen Burgess but
it must be some pretty powerful stuff to make the Iron
Maiden come after you," an admiring Chris pondered. A
glance at Matt and Grace's discussion a few yards away
convinced Chris that his nemesis was starting to doubt
his ladylove due to Grace's persistent comments. As
he wondered what active role he could play in this
evening's events, the sight of Lucy Coe emerging from
the ladies' room answered his own question. Chris
rose from his seat and quickly strode to join Lucy,
who was obviously scanning the room looking for her
date.
"You certainly look very beautiful and enticing
tonight Lucy, but then again you always do." Chris
said as he shamelessly raked his eyes over Lucy from
head to toe. Lucy was dressed to kill and most of the
men in the club had given her more than one lascivious
look.
Basking in Chris' admiration, Lucy acknowledged his
complement. "Thank you Chris. You look very handsome
yourself tonight."
"I'm surprised Dr. Collins has let you out of his
sight tonight," Chris continued. Upon hearing his
comment, Lucy mentioned that unfortunately she had
misplaced her date at the moment. Helpful as always,
with a gleam in his eyes Chris volunteered, "I do
believe that I saw him enter Luke Spencer's office a
few minutes ago. Who knows, maybe he's stashed a
Valentine Day's surprise for you in there and he's
gone to get it." Chris immediately saw in Lucy's
gullible face that she honesty believed his theory as
she quickly excused herself to find Kevin. "Oh yes, I
do think that the dynamite has just been lit by yours
truly."
~~~*~~~
Shocked in silent trances
Our eyes search just to know
What makes flesh and body hunger
For another burning soul
Conscience quiet pleading
In the corner of my eye
But seeing is believing
All consequences fly
~~~*~~~
Not normally a heavy drinker, Kevin's throat burned
from the straight glass of Bourbon he quickly gulped
down. The burning sensation strangely complemented
the fire he felt was consuming him. Using his hands
to brace himself as he leaned on the large oak
sideboard, Kevin urgently tried to pull himself
together before facing Lucy, Matt, and Ellen again.
For months, hell maybe even years now, he was quietly
attracted to and eventually grew to love Ellen, and at
most it felt like a dull constant pain in his heart.
But, by voicing his feelings and making Ellen aware of
them, somehow the intensity of his feelings exploded
and was much harder to control. It was as if
acknowledging this connection between them brought it
to life and made it impossible to suppress his desires
any longer. Shaking his head, Kevin unscrewed the top
off the Bourbon bottle and prepared to pour himself
another stiff strong drink before facing anyone again.
His hand stopped in mid-air as he heard the music
from the dance floor momentarily blare loudly in the
office. Without turning around he assumed that Luke
had entered his office and he said, "I'll be out of
here in a minute Luke. I hope you don't mind that I
helped myself to your private collection of spirits
back here." Kevin poured the drink in the shot glass.
He was thunderstruck to hear Ellen's voice reply, "I
don't think the solution to what is bothering you in
that glass Kevin."
Kevin sighed heavily. "That's true. But I can't have
the solution I want...the solution I need, and this,"
he said looking at the glass, "is a poor substitute."
Hearing Ellen steps as she walked closer behind him
Kevin's hands tightly gripped the sideboard and he
warned hoarsely, "Ellen, I don't have nerves of steel
right now - not after being so close to you all
evening and after that dance we just shared."
"Kevin," Ellen whispered softly and tenderly placed
her hand on his shoulder as she stood directly behind
him.
Knowing he was undone by that single touch, Kevin took
a deep breath and slowly turned around. The look of
affection and more startling, acceptance, in Ellen's
face made him dare to hope that maybe, perhaps, she
did want to be with him. Afraid that what was taking
place was a desperate love-sick dream which would end
if he said another word, Kevin closed his eyes,
leaning down to kiss Ellen as she raised her other
hand to intertwine her fingers behind his neck, and
they gave into the dream.
~~~*~~~
With fever I persist
The rages of your kiss
My reckless heart in fist
And I cannot resist
A demon's day in madness kissed
I swear I never had it like this
Forbidden yet I cannot resist
~~~*~~~
What began as tender, tentative kisses swiftly grew
more ardent and passionate. The sensation of Kevin's
hands gliding down her body took Ellen's breath away
and she allowed him to draw her closer and meld their
bodies together. All Kevin could see was the smooth
chocolate-colored skin as he kissed Ellen's face and
neck; all he could hear her sighs and moans in
response to his adore. Only when he pulled his face
from Ellen's face to look into her eyes did his senses
notice their surroundings again. As it had occurred
a few minutes earlier, the music was the dance floor
was playing loudly, and with a sudden sense of
foreboding his gaze traveled to the now opened office
door. Kevin saw Lucy standing there, shocked in
dumbfounded disbelief, staring at him as he held
Ellen. Upon feeling Kevin's body involuntarily
stiffen, Ellen opened her eyes and audibly gasped when
she turned to see Lucy. Instinctively she dropped her
arms from around Kevin's neck but Kevin refused to
break physical contact completely. Instead of moving
away, Kevin took his arms from Ellen's waist and
tightly clasped one of her hands.
The tears streamed down Lucy's cheeks as her heart was
shattered into a million pieces. "Doc....how could
you.....why...." she croaked, gasping for air between
sobs.
"Lucy, I should have told you..." Kevin didn't get a
chance to finish the statement; he watched as Lucy
spun on her heels and ran blindly from the office.
Kevin knew that he couldn't erase the hurt and
betrayal Lucy was feeling but he had to be sure that
she wouldn't do something reckless in her initial rage
that she would later regret. Still staring at the
opened door he stated simply, "I have to go after her
and talk to her."
Ellen nodded knowingly and agreed. "And I need to
talk to Matt. I made the decision on the dance floor
before coming in here." Seeing Kevin look at her and
prepare to say something, Ellen placed her fingertips
on Kevin's lips to stop him from talking and reminded
him, "Go after her now Kevin. We'll talk later."
Gently stroking her cheek with his fingertips, Kevin
vowed, "Yes, we will. Call me on my cellphone later,
no matter how late it is." Upon receiving Ellen's
promise that she would indeed call him, Kevin left the
office in pursuit of Lucy.
Ellen's heart was heavy and her feet felt like lead
weights as she walked back into the club. Never in
her life would she have believed she would ever hurt
Matt, but tonight, it would be unavoidable. Quickly
scanning the crowded club, Ellen didn't see Lucy or
Kevin, but almost immediately her gaze locked with
Matt's, who was coming towards her. In the midst of
deciding what she would initially say, the look on
Matt's face made her heart briefly stop beating and
sent a chill throughout her body. "He knows," Ellen
thought with despair, "He already knows."
Song Lyrics Credit - Resist by Melissa Etheridge