Chapter 3
"John maybe part of our being great together and lasting this long is our mutual understanding of the others’ need for the dreaded word—‘space’.
"Evangeline, you know I’m not trying to get you to change who and what you are. Ever since we started up I’ve known you travel light and are committed only to your pursuit of adventure, and sometimes to me and what we have and nothing else." Shifting her off his back John gathers his arms around her, turning her to face him and continues, "You like living this way, fine. You don’t have to upend your lifestyle for me, get your own place and we can, I don’t know, date like I hear other people do and we never did. Know that I want you with me; I admit I’m thinking it would be nice…for a change to come home to someone when that someone is you."
"I want to be with you everyday too, I find the idea doesn’t scare me like it used to but this would be all the time living, day in and day out, John. Can we handle that?"
"Oh, I’m glad it’s not just can I handle it; not just my adjustment." Stroking her arm and wrapping his fingers in her hair with his other hand he smiles with relief. Just being able to touch her was nearly too much for him to process.
"Nope, that’s what I’m saying. We can take it slow. I’m ready to move closer to you and living in the same country, not to mention the same state and city is a big step forward. We can still give each other living space with lots of visitation." Van pushed John’s hair out of his eyes and accepts his light kiss near her lashes and nearly painful hug. "I know you wonder how deep it runs with me; I don’t know if I’ll ever be able say ‘I love you’ but I am focused on us. I know that I want us to work and for this thing between us to thrive. I just think we have to be patient with each other John. We’ve both been alone and living our lives as we saw fit for a really long time now. Patience, can we grant each other patience?"
"Tell you what, you’re here now and this is a big move you’re making coming back across the ocean. Live with me while you’re moving and once everything’s in place for you here if you want to get your own place, that’s cool by me." He looks uncertain for a moment but has to ask, "Anyway it goes we’re together, right? Secrets and all?"
"Secrets and all. John…believe me, my biggest, single, only purpose right now is to ensure I don’t do anything that will…" pausing Van gives him a heartfelt kiss whispering "I just don’t want to make it impossible for you to stay with me. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m fighting with everything I have not to."
