Chapter 1

Dusk had settled over Llanview and lights were flickering on outside Evangeline’s office windows.

"Evangeline, okay if I come in?" Blair asked, looking abashed standing in the office door. "I need to say sorry for the tossed drink and the rant."

Evangeline leaned back in her chair as she beckoned Blair to enter. She did a mental check to see if she was wearing any colors or fabrics that would a stain if Blair lost it again and tossed something else at her.

"I really am sorry about the misdirected anger." said Blair, "I saw you but I was aiming for Todd! At least I was in my mind." Blair watched as Evangeline nodded cautiously. "I swear if not for my kids I would be ready to take my place in the Cramer family wing at St. Anne’s."

"Blair!" Van struggled not to laugh at Blair’s offhand comment; she knew the emotional stress Blair was enduring. "It’s alright, really. You didn’t get my hair so we’re cool."

"Now that’s my kind of thinking!" Blair said laughing, "I AM sorry and I’m back in control. I’ve washed Todd out of my hair—wherever he is."

"Blair, do you really think Todd just abandoned his family? Doesn’t seem to fit what I know of him and have heard about him where you’re concerned. Why would he change tactics now?" Van wondered

"Don’t know. Working on not caring. Aside from apologizing profusely I want to replace the clothes I probably ruined. The goings gotten tough, so the tough need to shop, I’m going into Manhattan tomorrow to spend a significant amount of Todd’s cash. Care to join me?" There was the slightest note of pleading in Blair’s voice, laced with agony that Evangeline picked up on and responded to. She and Blair knew each other causally and were friendly enough now that the bitterness of the rape trial was behind everyone. But neither had ever sought out the other for girlfriend time.

Still, Evangeline was intrigued by Blair and her bad girl reputation. Blair certainly never seemed to doubt her ability to pull and hold the man of her choice, no matter who else lays claim to him. And it always seemed to be Blair’s choice—she never stood around waiting to be chosen. Blair’s ruthless acquisition and dismissal of men was legendary in Llanview.

"My clothes are fine, Blair. But I can always stand to add to my closets." Evangeline looked thoughtful, shook out her hair and said "I haven’t shopped til I dropped for ages now, love to join you."

Blair smiled and said, "Really? Great! Do you want to come to the penthouse or should I pick you up?"

"Why don’t we just meet at the train station?" asked Evangeline.

"Train? No. I’m blowing TONS of Todd’s money; for that we must be driven. I’ve already lined up a car and driver. Besides, I heard about what happened to you at the train station. You can’t want to go there if you don’t have to."

"Well, I won’t let a racist nut job stop me from living my life. But I certainly don’t mind being chauffeured. Your place, say 9:30?"

"That’ll be great." Blair responded, "See you tomorrow morning."

The next morning found Evangeline sipping coffee at Blair’s when her cell rang. She instantly recognized John’s direct work line. "Good morning, you." John said, a sleepy tone making his voice even deeper.

"It is morning and it’s shaping up to be a good day." responded Van, "How are you?"

"Missing you. I haven’t really rested in what seems like weeks. Its been a long time since our last full night together." John said, then he started to chuckle into her silence, "Too much information?"

"Aaah, no. No, it’s great information. I’ve missed us too." she sighed into the phone, "Lets make just us time, can we?" No work talk—I don’t want to fight. And since you’re being direct I will too: I just want to make love all night into the day."

He quickly responded "Where? How soon? And I haven’t forgotten we still haven’t had our uninterrupted day together. The one we were planning when Tico got shot and Cristian turned up alive, if not totally well."

"Is tonight too soon? Can you break away from work?

"I will get away, but it’ll be after 8 p.m. Do you want to meet me for a coffee lunch?"

"John, I can’t. I’m heading to New York with Blair. A late dinner is good. 9?"

You and Blair?" John queried "Sounds like a story. Tell me tonight, have fun."

Evangeline clicked off and went to the windows to look at the view.

"So it’s true. You and the Chief of Detectives are closer than close. Your summer fling has gone into a new year." Blair commented while picking up her deep maroon suede coat and putting it over her arm. "Shall we go?"

Evangeline’s expressive eyes widened as she beat back a blush she felt heating her cheeks. She never knew whether she was pleased others’ saw them as a couple or alarmed that people were paying attention to hers and John’s private life. "We have the same taste in suede, Blair." Van glanced from Blair’s coat to her own plum colored suede jacket. Shopping together should be fun."

"Ah, sidestepping are we? Well, we’ll be in the car for enough time for me to thoroughly grill you." There was a mischievous gleam in Blair’s eyes, "Gotta tell you, if McBain had a different job I’d have given him more than a passing glance." "Different job?" "The Cramer women rarely stay outside the danger zones. John would be arresting relatives of mine—or me—on too regular a basis for us to have had even a little fling. He is sexy, though. Sexy, sexy, sexy. And tall." Blair drawled as she studied Evangeline. "And you body language and eyes suggest that I don’t know the half of how accomplished he is. John strikes me as….thorough."

Evangeline bit back a smile and exited to the elevator, visions of just how thoroughly accomplished John was swirling behind her eyes.

Van and Blair collapsed into a booth as Manhattan’s throngs went by their window. After placing their food orders they raised their wine glasses in a toast to shopping. Van looked at Blair "You certainly know all the best places to shop from funky boutiques to designer showrooms and they all know you."

Leaning back against the cushions Blair shrugged, "The first time I married Todd was right before he came into the Lord money. When he was found to be the heir he was VERY generous with his wife. We invented bling bling. I used to own a cosmetics company—I met everyone involved in any major way in the fashion and beauty world. I’ve kept up my contacts. I love clothes."

"You and Todd have a long history"

"Oh yes, long and utterly tortured." Blair cracked. "But before we stopped trusting each other….before he found out I tricked him into marrying me—don’t ask, we were magic. Our bond was unshakeable. We had become tight friends and comrades in mayhem long before we married. We were fierce and feared; we totally got each other, knew and trusted one another. We’ve been trying to get back to that place ever since, and failing miserably."

Blair took a long drink from her wine then pushed the food around on her plate, "You and John have ‘it’ too. Heads turn when you’re together. You two change the dynamic of every room when you enter it."

"Stop. You’re joking" Van said in amazement.

"No, I’m not. I’ve watched John watching you. He’s not capable of being indifferent to your presence. Oh, he’s cool. But he’s watching you come towards him; he’s checking out the heads you turn. McBain knows every secret flame that burns for you."

"No."

"Yes. It’s a great thing. A man who’s secure enough in the relationship to be aware and amused by the other men who want his woman. Unruffled, calmly possessive, taking pride in her desirability and thrilled that it’s all for him. You and John. Me and Todd, marriage no.1."

Evangeline was flustered and flabbergasted by Blair’s observations. She wanted it to be true and was frightened it was true. Her feelings for John were already difficult enough to hold at bay. She was capable of losing hours in thought over the man. Remembering times together, feeling his hands move over her, his voice after lovemaking, his cries of pleasure during. She was already much too caught up in John McBain. Too aware of him, too needful of him, waaay too vulnerable in his presence while trying not to think of a future with him in it.

It was nearing 7 p.m. when the car carrying Blair and Evangeline crossed into the Lantano County limits. "Evangeline, hope you won’t have to dash around like a crazed woman to get ready to see John." They both had their long legs resting on the opposite seat as they sipped soft drinks. "No, I’ll get home in time to put stuff away and get myself ready. I had so much fun, Blair."

"I had fun too. You know, there’s nothing wrong with letting the man know you need him. You don’t need rescuing—what smart woman does? But that doesn’t mean you don’t need him or want to be needed by him. Grown-up to grown-up." Blair glance out the window reflective and more than a little sad, "Todd and I have wasted years not saying clearly what we want and need from each other. You’re not a game player like I’ve been but you don’t seem very willing to tap into your emotions. Let them take you where you need to go so you can say what must be said by somebody in a relationship."

Evangeline’s laughter took Blair by surprise, more so when Van couldn’t seem to stop laughing. Blair leaned over to where Van was doubled up on the seat, practically falling on to the floor from laughing so hard. "What’d I say?" Both of Blair’s eyebrows were raised.

"Oh Blair, letting feelings take over is EXACTLY how John and I got together in the first place." Then Evangeline fell back in her seat and continued to laugh.

As the driver piled her purchases on the sofa Van looked at Blair "I’m really going to have to up my billable hours to make a dent in what I’ve just spent."

"Yes, but you’ll look so good while you’re racking up the hours, the pay and the court wins. Thanks again for coming with, Van, and lets do something again soon." Blair’s eyes danced and she gave an evil grin "Here’s a vision if Todd ever returns and lives long enough picture this: me and Todd, you and John, Dorian and David, Kelly and God-forbid but probably Kevin around a dinner table sharing a meal. Toss in RJ and Lindsey, Daniel and Nora, and Bo and whoever he’s with now, Paige? Can’t you see the guys trying to make polite, idol chitchat over sports or something?"

"John doesn’t do idol chitchat; although he is usually polite no matter what." Van had a clear picture of the women trying to keep the conversation going and the men out of each other’s faces. Still, she was happy to hear someone besides Nora and Michael speaking as though she and John were the done deal. Fated to be mated.

As the car whisked Blair away Van said out loud "Don’t want the nonstop drama but everyone know Todd loves Blair. Must be great to know she’s loved by him no matter what. He isn’t always there right when she needs him but he does always show up eventually." Deep in wistful thoughts she put away her purchases, showered, changed and turned her attention to the night stretching out ahead of her with John.

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