“A feeling roams deep inside
There really is no place to hide…
Having no control when having desires
Like having no more water to put out the fire…
Don’t ever try to fight, it you’ll never win”

From Desire by En Vogue


It was late-December and students at Llanview High had just finished up their last day of exams. Odessa was on her way to meet some of her friends over at the Diner Vega to celebrate the end of their hellish week of semester finals. On her way out of the building her Advanced Photography teacher, Mrs. Siddarta, stopped and informed her that she’d submitted one of Odessa’s photographs from her ‘Homage to Life’ themed assignment – Odessa only submitted the first two pictures she’d snapped of The Boy – into a Youth Photographer contest where five winners, from various high school across the suburbs of Philadelphia, would have their submissions displayed at a prestigious art exhibit, as well as being featured in The Sun newspaper and receiving a $300 cash prize. Even though Odessa’s submission had been late, Mrs. Siddarta was well-impressed that her photographs beautifully and naturally captured the sheer essence of tragedy and turmoil, using non-digitalised enhancements. The particular photo Mrs. Siddarta submitted was of The Boy standing up and gloomily looking down at the grave. Odessa was very flattered and excited about her teacher’s vote of confidence. She didn’t bother telling anyone about the news though, since she felt it was a long shot of her actually being a winner. She soon went over to the slightly busy Diner to engage in conversation and food with the gang.

“Oh my goodness! I am so glad exams are finally over!” exclaimed a relieved Skyler.

“How do you guys think you did with everything?” Derek asked.

Alec was the first to answer. “Mass Communications was a breeze for me. I’ve blocked out the other ones though…”

“I don’t know… I’m still a bit iffy about AP History.” said an uncertain Jacob.

“Yeah, that exam was hella hard,” Skyler nodded in agreement as she was in the same history class as he. “But it’s all over now!”

“I need to get more napkins… you guys need anything?” Odessa asked. Everyone had responded ‘no’ to her question. Unlucky for her was that the fact that Gisella was now behind the counter, filling in for her Grandmother Carlotta, who went on an errand-run for a half-hour. As Odessa grabbed some napkins, she could feel the shots of daggers Gisella was giving her. Odessa gave her a tight smile and began walking away.

“We haven’t spoken to each other in a while. You can’t say ‘hello’ to people now… or are you just to good for that?” Gisella snidely asked.

Odessa laughed at with irony. “Considering you’re not much fun to be around in the first place, Gisella, why the hell would I want to speak to you?”

Strangely enough, Gisella seemed momentarily hurt at the comments, but she swiftly brushed it aside a she looked over Odessa’s shoulders with a devious glint. “Being that I’m in a professional environment, I’ll let that slide… for now…”

“Don’t even bother, sweetheart. She’s just like her mother: uppity and classless. Some people absolutely have no home-training,” said a cold voice behind Odessa. She immediately turned around to see Gisella’s mother, Natalie, giving her a nasty look, matching the ones Gisella had just given her. “Gisella, you don’t need to get yourself tangled with the likes of this one. People like her think that can do whatever they want because they think they’re above everyone else,” Natalie continued.

Odessa had started to form a fist as her eyes narrowed, growing angry as she could feel herself become hot with anger inside. “Say what you want about me, but how dare you insult my mother like that,” she said in a dangerously low voice. Her fist was really shaking now.

“Ah-ah-ah, little one! I’d be careful if I were you. Just because your daddy is the Commish and your mommy is the District Judge, just remember that if you lay your hands on me, a mother with her children around her, there are witnesses around to see,” Natalie deliciously goaded.

Odessa was seeing red. She was taught to never hate a person, but Gisella and her mother were ones she could easily make exceptions for. Here they were humiliating her and she was somehow being made to look like the jerk, in public. She looked over at Gisella, who was now sporting a blank face.

“Mom, what’s going on?” said a little boy with a husky voice, from behind Natalie.

Odessa looked down and saw that it was eight-year-old Alessandro, Gisella’s junior brother. A slight hint of curious panic was apparent in his big, almond eyes. He was a precious little boy, who had not been completely poisoned by Natalie’s lies. Odessa’s expression softened when she looked at him, almost giving him an awkward smile. Alessandro reacted by returning a huge grin back at Odessa.

Natalie noticed their light interaction and became angered. “Come on Alex, let’s get you over to your karate lessons, okay? Say goodbye to your sister.” She looked at Odessa. “Remember, what Mommy has always said about staying away from rude and bad people, Alex?” she said as they were leaving the Diner Vega.

Odessa looked back at Gisella, who’d remained quiet but was now smirking. “Oh, Ode, what did I tell you about that temper of yours? Shame on you!” Gisella said.

Before walking away, Odessa only had one thing to say to Gisella: “I pray that Alex will be able to completely escape from the curse and the pathetic lies that your mom has put on you. He’s a cute little kid. I’d hate to see him become a demon like his sister.”

“Go to hell, you bitch,” Gisella coldly responded.

“And be like you? I don’t think so…”

Gisella once again looked briefly hurt before her face reddened. She lowered her voice, hissing. “You think you’re hot shit don’t you? Just because you have a perfect mother and a perfect father, and your freakin’ perfect boyfriend, who should’ve been mine!” she spat out with venom. “Perfect little Odessa McBain… Go on, leave! Go back to your table with your perfect friends…”

Odessa was startled and frowned. All the time she and Gisella had had their share of tense moments, but she’d never seen Gisella this way, and didn’t know what to say. There was actually a pinch of sadness in Gisella’s face, although her tone didn’t match it. A customer had come up to the counter, and Odessa immediately gave him way. Since Gisella was on the girls’ basketball team, Odessa awkwardly told her “Good luck at the game tonight,” and left Gisella with the customer.

“What was that all about?” Skyler asked with protection showing in her voice when Odessa returned to the table. “Were she and her crackhead mother giving you a hard time?” She turned to look at Gisella, who was still somewhat red in the face. Skyler chuckled. “Geez, what the hell did you say to her?”

“Don’t worry about it Sky… Gisella was just being Gisella.” I think…

“Alright, but let me know if something starts up… So are you all going to the girl’s b-ball game tonight? Gotta support Kiko and Nicole for the conference finals, ya know!” Skyler asked.

Alec responded. “Yeah, but we may go to Jack’s place before we go. He’s given Tim access to his garage and we’re gonna go chill over there for a bit, after he gets off from work.”

“I don’t get it, I thought Tim wasn’t gonna work at the auto shop and work on the bike on Fridays,” Skyler pondered.

“Yeah, but when Jack found out he hurt his ribs, he told him to lay off for a bit, even though Tim was refusing. So I guess he’s making up for lost time,” Odessa answered. “Plus exams are over now, so he’s got time to work at the garage. He’s basically trying to beat the clock in getting that bike ready, but he’ll be working on that bike until late tonight.”

“I swear that guy’s got one hell of a work ethic. I know the military would love him, especially with him having that crazy-ass vision,” Derek joked.

“Seriously, that dude is a freak-of-nature! He told me once when he was in his calculus class that he could see me cutting across the track when I had laps to make up for gym… His calculus class is way over in the upper east wing. Do you know how far away that is from the field?!?” Jacob called out.

Odessa laughed. “That just goes to show cheaters never prosper, Jacob. You never know who’s watching you. Just be glad he ain’t the snitching type…”

Early that evening Odessa received a call from Derek, informing her that Tim was still at Jack’s place, and was told to tell her she could stop by if she liked. Odessa took up on the offer and was soon out of the house. Several minutes later she was about to walk up Jack’s driveway, when she saw Jamie driving out. Odessa also noted that the automatic garage door was closed. Jamie stopped and rolled down her window when Odessa approached her car.

“Hey ‘dessa! I take it you’re here to see Tim?”

“Yes, but I’m guessing here’s not here anymore?”

“No he’s in the garage, and Jack is home also. I think the side door is open though. I’m in a serious rush, but I’ll see you later…” and Jamie drove-off.

Odessa went inside through the door, and saw Jack’s parked Mustang, The Boy’s motorcycle, as well as the Ducati motorcycle off to the side, surrounded by parts. She could hear the low sounds of music coming from a radio on a little shelf. The Boy, himself, was lying on top of a long, medium-high steel cabinet, with his legs dangling off the edge. “Skiving off the job, aren’t we?” she teased.

The Boy lifted his head slightly to see her and smiled. “Of course… no actually I’m taking a breather for a moment. The bike’s getting close to finished though,” he said as he sat up. “So I guess Derek passed the message to you?”

“Yeah… The guys have missed hanging out with you.”

“Oh yeah?” he pulled her closer with his long legs and bent down for a kiss before stopping. “Hang on; I’m gonna go inside and wash-up a bit. Don’t want to get greasy hands on ya.” He went into Jack’s house to use the bathroom, until he came back out lightly cracking up. “Jack’s passed out sleeping on the couch and he making the goofiest faces at the same time.”

“Really? I wanna see!” Odessa started towards the entry to the house but The Boy grabbed her.

“Forget that, I’ve missed doing this all day,” He kissed her deeply this time and she easily accepted. He ran his fingers through her hair, while she stood there on tiptoes, arms wrapped around his neck. His hands started to wander down her back, soon travelling their way down to her rear-end. He gave her a little squeeze down there and she giggled, still kissing him. She finally broke free and gave him a timid look. “What is it?” The Boy asked her. When she wouldn’t answer, he cupped her chin and asked again softly. “What’s wrong, Babes?”

She loved it when he called her that. She sighed and finally answered with what she was thinking. “Remember when you said you weren’t… inexperienced?” The Boy slowly nodded. “Well, I’m just wondering… how experienced are you?”

He looked at her, unsure of how to answer her question. He went to sit on the steel cabinet, leaning against the wall. He scratched his chiselled chin before grabbing her hands to hold. “That’s a bit personal…” he started and Odessa looked down. “but I won’t lie to you…. I’ve only been with one person.” Odessa quickly looked at him: a cultured, independent and dangerously-appealing boy had only been with one person? Her eyes said what she was thinking, saying “Yeah right!” The Boy pierced into her eyes. “It’s true, I swear on my life! She was an older woman…” he admitted.

Odessa instinctively loosened her grip from his hands. “Oh… so you’re really experienced,” she quietly pouted.

“Hey, don’t be like that. She wasn’t even anyone serious and it happened a little over a year ago.”

“You mean when you were in Port Charles?” Odessa questioned and he nodded again.

“Maybe that’s why your cousin Shannon recognised me.”

Odessa, shocked, gasped loudly. Her mind was racing and she began to walk backwards. “Omigod, you and Shannon!?” The thought of her cousin and The Boy upset her and she turned to run away. “Wait! Odessa, no! That came out wrong…” He’d jumped off the cabinet and caught her. “It wasn’t Shannon, but I think it may’ve been her friend from New York.”

Odessa was both relieved but still shocked. “Huh? How did that happen?” The Boy didn’t answer. Her mind was still running and she recalled Téa’s reaction to The Boy. “It was Téa wasn’t it?” her mouth was trembling and she was about to take off again, but he wouldn’t let her go.

The Boy’s eyes were wild. “Babes, stop it! And where the hell did you get Téa from?!

Look, I doubt you even know this person.” He stopped and went back to sit the cabinet. He leaned his head against the wall and let out a low exhale. “I can see this is really bothering you…” He looked at her “So I’ll explain what happened, if you have to know.” Odessa wanted to know, so he began telling his account…

The Boy had barely turned seventeen a couple months before the Spring season began, when his first sexual encounter occurred. Shannon and her NYC-based friend had come to town one day visiting Diego Alcazar, with whom Shannon managed to stay on friendly terms with, which was good considering they had children together. Diego frequented the biker shop The Boy worked at, as one of the back rooms was equipped with a poker table, pool tables and a mini-bar. A lot of shady dealings also occurred there, and the owner, Jason Morgan, usually didn’t allow The Boy to go back in the room, particularly since he was under-aged. One day, when The Boy had come out of the inventory room, an attractive woman was standing by the counter waiting to speak to someone. The Boy tended to her and she referred to herself as a friend of Diego’s. Before she could say anything else The Boy had noticed she was carrying a book on art, and from there they began talking a little bit about the subject, as well as her admitting she was an artist from New York City, in the middle of assembling her art exhibition in a Manhattan museum. She’d finally remembered why she was there and broke out of their conversation by asking if Diego was in the poker room because if so, his sons and their mother were in town. The Boy went to retrieve Diego, and said goodbye to the woman as she and Diego left the shop, assumingly to see his young twins, Connor-Luis and Declan-Ramon.

The Boy, himself, had been living in a small room above the shop, and one late-night he received a knock on his door. He opened it and was surprised to see that it was the woman again. She’d told The Boy that Diego told her where he lived and wanted to ask his permission to pose for a painting as part of her exhibition, that would take place in a few months afterwards.. The woman told The Boy that he had one of the most beautifully-intriguing faces she’d ever seen in a male and believed a portrait of him was a must-have as part of her exhibition. The Boy thanked her but told her he was not interested; the woman wouldn’t leave, however. Instead, she went to The Boy and carefully placing her hand to his face, caressing it. “So perfect you are… she had whispered to him. She also told him there was something deeply intriguing about him. “Do you mind if I stay here tonight?” She’d made The Boy extremely nervous… and he was also young and in the latter stages of puberty, although he could barely pass for older, even at that time. Excitement and curiosity had overcome him and he obliged to the attractive woman’s request. Several females -- some in his age group and some slightly older than him -- had made passes at him, but none of them had ever put him in the position he was in with the woman, who had to have been in her thirties.

Whilst she was there the two had mostly talked throughout the night, sitting on his floor chatting about her life in New York, and his life being on his own. Then suddenly things got quiet between them, and The Boy found himself staring at the woman. “Do you find me attractive?” she asked him. He nodded. “Would you like to kiss me?” and he nodded again, but he froze. “What’s the matter?” she asked. The Boy responded by saying that he was much younger than her. The woman was thrown-off. “How much younger?” she questioned. Sure enough he responded, almost timidly and swallowing his throat. The woman stared at him for the longest time before she moved forward to him, her lips brushing against his, whilst saying these words: “That’s old enough.” She pulled him into a passionate embrace and shortly after she began unbuttoning her shirt. The Boy stopped and got up away from her. Sensing something was wrong again, she tried to assure him. “It’s okay… I’ve got protection.” The Boy told her that wasn’t the problem and she figured out that he was a virgin. She smiled and got up towards him. “You know, we never exchanged names this whole.” The Boy panicked but told her, “It’s Tim, ma’am”. She stroked his cheek and said seductively. “Would you like to be with me tonight, Tim?” he nervously licked his lips and slowly nodded. “Don’t be afraid, Tim, I’ll show and tell you exactly what to do and all that you need to do… My name is Lesley Lu, but please feel free to call me Lulu…”

Odessa, was stupefied as The Boy stopped there. “There’s no need to continue… I think you can figure out what happened after that. But I think I saw her around town once more months after that night, when Shannon came into the shop with her, but nothing happened that day.” Odessa turned away from him and stood still for the longest time. “Hey, what are you thinking?” The Boy asked softly. She didn’t answer. “It didn’t mean anything. It only happened one night, and even then I don’t think about her, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Odessa turned around to gaze at him. But it was your first time… It had to have meant something… She wanted to say, but remained silent.

“Babes?” The Boy said. Suddenly, Odessa wrapped her arms around him, clutching him for another hard kiss. The Boy broke away from her frowning. “Odessa, whoa! What’s going on with you??”

She closed her eyes momentarily, before speaking. “Your hands are clean right?”

“Yes… why?”

With fire in her eyes, Odessa responded. “I want you to feel me up… Right here, right now…”

Email only chapter follows. Email the author for details.