Laura and Helena.
An angel and a demon… A goddess and a devil…
He stood still on the beach and took in a strong gulp of the salty sea air. He looked back towards Helena's yacht. For a brief moment, he considered their meeting. Her green eyes had glittered and reminded him of the alley cats he and Bobbie had chased back in Florida. Then, just as soon as the deviousness appeared, it had disappeared. She had smiled her oddly maternal, yet a tad bit seductive smile, and with a faint flush to her cheeks, she had told him that his love for his son touched her.
It truly did, she had said.
A stinging retort never escaped from his lips or came to his mind. Luke had nodded…almost as if he thanked her. Well, in way he was grateful to her. She, despite her cursed surname, would and had helped him help his son. With Helena Cassadine's assistance, Luke's boy would have what Luke no longer did.
From what his eyes had seen from numerous hiding places and from what his ears had overheard from one conversation in particular, Luke knew how his boy felt about the ADA's little sister. Lucky loved her. His blue eyes sparkled whenever she came near him. His voice deepened. His hands found reasons to touch her. And, he smiled. Oh, how his boy would smile, Luke thought.
Luke had seen the rocks on her fingers. He knew that she was a Cassadine, but if his boy didn't care… Luke swallowed back down the bile that had risen to his throat. He did care. He cared too damn much, but maybe this was closure…according to those stupid talk shows that his dear old Aunt Ruby had favored, God rest her soul. Maybe with the fog and the impulsiveness of it all… Hell, it wasn't like the Cassadine bastard had seen it coming. Shit, it wasn't like Luke had seen it coming when it had happened to him either.
In one twisted moment in time, his angel had vanished. Right before his very eyes, it had seemed. For almost two years, he went through the motions until she came back to him. Picking up his pace, he moved swiftly across the sand and back to the hut where their firstborn lay asleep. Swallowing back a hard lump, he remembered the feel of her arms as she threw herself into them in front of the governor's mansion. His face twisted as he remembered Stavros' determination to take her away from him. He remembered the silent vow of payback he had promised himself for what that monster had done to his beautiful, loving angel. Then, he smiled as he remembered the night before and how sweet the taste of revenge truly was.
He had scored a few points for the home team. Stiffen and the bastard were hurting. His son would have his own angel. And, although Luke knew that he could never get his angel back, he would have the comfort in knowing that her torment had now been vindicated.
The click of the front door was a source of relief for Nikolas. Finally, he was alone. He knew that his friends meant well, but… Tommy's soulful eyes, Elizabeth's constant chatter, and Gina's pats on the back were far from comforting. If anything their sympathetic gestures reinforced what the silence of the farmhouse screamed at him. Dawn was gone.
A hot shower did little to appease his tortured soul. As he lay on his bed, his brown eyes stared straight up at the ceiling. He took small breaths, but her scent was inhaled anyway. Tears streamed from the corners of his eyes and trailed a salty path across his high cheekbones down to gather at his ears. He didn't wipe them away. He grabbed her pillow and clutching it close to his bare chest, he inhaled. Deeply. "Dawn," he whispered.
Without making a conscious decision to do so, he soon found himself in their child's nursery. Her pillow was still clutched tightly to his chest, and blindly he moved around the room. Her presence was so strong there. He felt close to her there. He went to their baby's crib and lifted Winnie and Mickey out. Holding them both in one hand, he sank down onto the floor. With his face buried in her pillow and his arms around their baby's stuffed animals, he wept.
His tear-streaked face lifted from the pillow. He sniffled as he stumbled to his feet. Still clutching her pillow, he left Winnie and Mickey on the floor as he ran from the room. "Dawn!" he called as he ran down the staircase. "Sweetheart?"
He raced through the home they had lovingly decorated. His bare feet skipped over hardwood floors, rugs and carpeting as he searched every room. But all of them were empty. So goddamn empty!
He had heard her! Dammit!
Despair threatened to consume him, but he forced himself to ignore it. Giving in would mean that he surrendered. It meant that he would give up on her, on their child…on life. Allowing despair to seep in would cause him to lose focus, and he wouldn't do that. The pain of not knowing where she was or what she was going through was excruciating. It squeezed his chest and made breathing almost impossible, but her cry to him…
He had heard her! Dammit!
She was out there, and she was trying. And, if she wasn't about to give up on him, he for damn sure wasn’t about to give up on her.
Lucky had listened to his father's words in disbelief. A frown marred his young, handsome face and a sob had escaped him. Helena was on the warpath, Luke had said. She had set a bomb for Dawn's Lexus. People were dead. Nikolas-
"Dawn?" Her name had fallen from his lips. His heart had raced at the thought of her sparkling brown eyes now cold and lifeless. He felt a burning in his heart…his soul. She couldn't be a part of the casualties. She was spared, right?
"She's alive," Luke had answered. His voice was detached.
Lucky had stared at him in wonder. "Where is she?" he all but screamed at his emotionless father. "Man?! Dad?!"
"She's here." Luke shrugged as he had said the words. His eyes bore into Lucky's searching and then finding the answers to questions that Lucky didn't even want to know about. He had more important things on his mind.
"Take me to her."
"Dad!" Lucky bit the word out. He held himself with only a small once of control. His eyes, which were the same rich, dark blue as his mother's, stared at his father. They were wild with fear and anguish. "Take me to her now!"
Luke gave in to his son's demands. "Okay," he said. "Follow me."
Lucky was on Luke's heels as he stood right behind his father. Luke unlocked the deadbolts one by one. His son bit back the urge to scream for him to hurry up. After several more moments of listening to the locks sliding away, the door opened and soon father and son were standing outside.
Luke's footsteps were sure and quick as he led them from the hut, down the creaky floorboards and into the large white frame house. In the back of his mind, Lucky noticed everything. The clear, blue sky, the white clouds, the sandy beaches and the serenity of the place were all tucked safely away in the corners of his mind. Later, he would wonder about them. He would begin to question where they were and how they came to be there. He would wonder a great many things, but all of that wouldn't happen until later. Now, his mind was focused. She was in pain and he had to go to her. He had to find a way to ease it somehow.
The house was empty. Perhaps, too empty. But Lucky didn't notice. He continued to follow his dad. They went down a long narrow hallway, constantly moving until Luke stopped short. He gestured to a closed door.
"She's in there?" Lucky asked in a hushed whisper.
Luke didn't respond with words. He closed his hand over the doorknob and turned. The door opened and he waved Lucky inside. Lucky didn't have to be told twice. He entered the room. It was empty and he opened his mouth to yell the words when a movement caught his eye. An opened window allowed the breeze to blow the dark curtains aside again, and drawn, Lucky went to it. He pulled the curtains apart.
His eyes watered as he looked at her through the glass partition. The mirror was a two-way one and he was glad that for that moment, she couldn't see him. He swallowed hard as he watched her.
All alone, Dawn sat in a bed. Her face was devoid of make-up. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were red. But no tears covered her cheeks. Her left hand stroked her distended abdomen as her other hand clutched a newspaper. Her eyes stared at the words. Her head moved back and forth in denial. And, her mouth moved. Even if he couldn't lip read, Lucky would have known the word that repeatedly fell from her lips.
Lucky's need to be with Dawn…to comfort her was still there. It was still strong, but…not yet. He couldn't go to her while her grief was so strong. He was afraid of what he'd do. He couldn't disrespect her…or her love for Nikolas. He would wait. At least, for a little while.
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go.
[Song credit: "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan]